Around ten months ago, I was quite ill. To recover, I killed some time by reviewing TNA Victory Road, even breaking my one rule of no star ratings. Now, on a gloomy May 22nd, I am much more ill. My plan? To review some professional wrestling. Upon glancing at this date’s relevance in graps history, my direction is quite clear. On this day in 2011, WWE hosted one of my all-time favourite matches:
Christian vs. Randy Orton, Over the Limit 2011.
Now, a normal person would just review that match and have themselves a day in the sun, but I am no coward. I’ve never seen this show and in fact, may be going in blind on everything BUT the aforementioned classic. My scan of cagematch suggests that it may be one of those special shows. You know, the type of show that absolutely sucks outside of one match which inexplicably transforms the entire atmosphere? Yes, exactly.
With that in mind, let’s dive in and while we’re at it, we’ll bring some elusive star ratings along with us.
R-Truth vs. Rey Mysterio
I know we’ve already dove in but before we actually get started, I’d like to note that this show’s dark match was Daniel Bryan vs. Drew McIntyre. Keep that in mind. Anyway, we’re greeted by Josh Mathews who then throws us to heel Michael Cole, who is living in his box-like structure. Jerry Lawler is also on the call, though he and Cole will be wrestling each other tonight. “King” is clearly under the weather here, which unfortunately puts the Hulbert/Lawler comparison counter up to 1.
Thankfully, those fellas are not alone, accompanied by NXT analyst Booker T. That’ll help, sincerely. Regardless, R-Truth is out first, walking that aisle to no music after his “the truth shall set you free” thingy. He’s recently turned heel, getting big into conspiracies and listening to lots of Joe Rogan. That last part is merely implied, as his pre-match promo is instead about not having a parking spot. Fair, that is pretty rude. The people yell “what?” and play along with Truth’s cheap heat efforts.
It really is playing along too, but whatever who cares. To be fair, Truth is good at this shtick, shifting his ultimately defining portrayal of insane from comedic to dangerous. Well, it’s still comedic but less playful and more angry, I suppose. By the way, Mysterio recently took Truth’s spot in a #1 contender match, or something. Once everything is in place and the bell rings, they actually have a good professional wrestling match, because of course.
It’s a very tidy opener, setting the tone with an adult lockup and warming the people up from there. That’s necessary too, as Seattle isn’t exactly electric at the bell. Within reason, both lads work pretty hard too, with Truth taking an especially sickening bump to the floor. For his eventual cutoff, Mysterio repays the favour by flying into the ring post and then off the apron. As usual, Mysterio has some effortless offensive touches, keeping things alive as Truth wrestles with his new persona.
It’s a mostly smooth transition for him as a result, even with a slightly uneven control segment. They close with some very brief back and forth action until Truth gets the win, setting his finish up by yanking Mysterio (and the ring skirt) from the apron. Post-match, Truth talks to himself while Mysterio gets a moment alone, earning applause as well as some boos. Nonetheless, this is a good wrestling match.
It’s the kind of match that Mysterio has had literal hundreds of, but that doesn’t make it any less fun. This is engaging graps and gets Truth’s emerging heel run moving in the right direction. It’s also just eight minutes long, neat opener.
Incredibly Rare Star Rating: ***
This is followed by a Miz interview, talking trash with Alex Riley standing behind him. The former champ explains that he’s smarter than Batista, JBL and Randy Orton combined which well…never mind, Dave probably leads the other team home. Either way, Miz has never quit at anything in his entire life.
Meanwhile in Gotham, Michael Cole has made sure that his feet stink, earning that weird Booker T smirk where he’s silent and looks confused. To be clear, Cole’s feat (YAS) plays into tonight’s gimmick, but more on that later.
WWE Intercontinental Title
Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett (c)
Big Zeke has recently been “excommunicated from The Corre.” Oh my god, The Corre, howling. Their fearless leader, Barrett is part of Booker T’s “FAVE FIVE.” As Jackson makes his way to the ring, I am reminded of the greatest theme in sports history. After all, the thing about domination is, it’s a combination of skill and concentration. Jackson rises to the occasion, does something amazing cause anything he does, he dominates it.
It must be said, you’d be forgiven for just lumping body guys that had brief pushes like this together but good lord, Zeke looks extraordinary. Always keen to highlight such a thing, Booker T steps forward. “This guy’s jacked,” he declares. Factual, and then the bell rang. I kid, that’s dramatic in truth. Look, this isn’t necessarily good but it comes and goes without incident, coming out passable enough. Even still, it’s clear that Jackson isn’t exactly a natural.
His default mode involves a weird stumble of sorts, looking generally unsure of himself. Zeke isn’t without strengths though, quite literally, also throwing some cool clubbing strikes in the corner. His body language immediately concerns Booker, who fears that he may tire. I had the same thought, as it was about the only conclusion that Jackson’s demeanour could leave you with. Barrett is leading this dance, obviously, which lifts their floor without touching the ceiling.
He’s fine, there just isn’t much meat on the bone, bell to bell at least. I thought he was better in later years honestly, not to suggest he ever became Dynamite Kid or anything. Booker claims that Barrett is “ragtagging” Zeke, which pops Cole. Those two have a weird dynamic as when Cole questions Booker on anything, the big man just chuckles, leaving Lawler and Mathews to pick up the pieces. As you can imagine, that produces a range of results.
The people don’t care about this much until the end, as Jackson uncorks five consecutive body slams. This gets the people to respond, then being halted seconds later as Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel cause a DQ. Post-match, The Corre leave Zeke laying. The finish sucks obviously but whatever, that is professional wrestling booking for you. Mechanically, this is inoffensive, even if unsurprisingly dull. Not good, but no disaster, greatly assisted by cautious agenting and a limited runtime.
Incredibly Rare Star Rating: **
Backstage, CM Punk is giving some tips to Mason Ryan. Indeed, this is Nexus leader Punk, which is hilarious. He and Ryan find the bodies of David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty, both of whom have allegedly been killed by The Big Show and Kane. Punk doesn’t care about this and says it rules, actually, as they must be in the tag champs’ heads. Genuinely funny segment here, combining Ryan’s acting with Punk’s unhinged Nexus shtick.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Sin Cara
Just yelled. I didn’t even see Chavo’s name on this card. In fact, I’d have probably guessed that he’d already left by 2011 if tasked with some trivia. Instead, here he is on PPV, glory days brother. His role is clear: help Sin Cara. I do remember this project after all, and recall it going poorly for all involved. This particular outing isn’t an outright disaster, featuring some flashes of hope before hitting a brick wall on its finish.
I laughed out loud at the famed Sin Cara lighting, which is a thing that’ll always fascinate me on some level. Early on, they are mostly on the same page, a few stagger steps aside. Sin Cara’s offense is dynamic enough to confuse Booker T, hitting two different dives and scoring a neat sequence from the apron to boot. He gets substantial shine here, as it’s basically an extended squash.
Guerrero threatens a cutoff on two or three occasions but never fully takes over, remaining a step behind throughout. More specifically, Booker explains that Sin Cara is going at 65-70mph while Chavo is merely at 40. Bits aside, the layout is spot on, as there’s nothing to be gained from Sin Cara selling here. Granted, that’s partly due to his visible disinterest in the concept, looking bored by Chavo’s every attempt at offence.
That isn’t the issue though, it’s instead the inconsistency of Sin Cara’s own offence. Not breaking any news here obviously, as that’s what defined his ill-fated WWE run. Every move seemed like a coinflip and while that’s charming, it quickly killed this project. Oh well, it happens, things worked out okay in the end. The best of this match is considerably better than anything in the Barrett bout, but this does not come and go without incident.
The finish is a total misfire, earning jeers and undoing any prior positives.
Incredibly Rare Star Rating: **
Backstage, Christian and Orton have a face to face promo segment. Remember, they’re still both babyfaces at this point, maintaining a respectful dynamic that’s beginning to crack.
Oh good, Alberto Del Rio is here. He does an “immigration problem” bit and dunks on the people a few times. Brother, what is this for? We never really find out, as his generic live promo is halted by Big Show and Kane, who threaten him.
WWE Tag Team Titles
The Big Show & Kane (c) vs. CM Punk & Mason Ryan
Folks, Money in the Bank 2011 took place less than two months after this. It’s an extreme example but my goodness, things really can change in the blink of an eye. To be fair, the “CM Punk” chants are already very much in attendance. By the way, Mason Ryan’s neck is real weird, almost dinosaur-like. According to Cole, Ryan and Kane have been having “great battles” in recent weeks, which I’m doubtful of.
Speaking of such, I’m no expert on this era but it sure feels like Punk and Show were constant rivals. Either way, this is the CM Punk show, as you’d expect. He’s glorious here, making the people wait only to get killed upon entering, because of course. It’s your classic stooge heel showing, hardly hitting a single offensive manoeuvre and selling big throughout. It’s undercard silliness obviously, but that’s (rightly) the role it’s been tasked with playing.
You know, it’s staggering to ponder the amount of big lads that Kane and Show have attempted to lead. Here, they meet ol’ Mason, whose fundamentals aren’t catastrophic by any means. In this match, he’s actually passable on that front, his issue is a lack of real pop. He’s incredibly strong obviously, the offence just arrives without much oomph. Regardless, he’s not asked to do anything beyond his skill-set, getting some heat on Kane in the second act.
Show’s hot tag feeds directly into the finish, and this is a hit live. Ideally, it’s a play call that follows something far more substantial than those last two matches, but these are the games we play. Fun wrestling match, colouring inside the lines and doing so efficiently.
Incredibly Rare Star Rating: **½
WWE Divas Title
Brie Bella (c) vs. Kelly Kelly
Must say, I was not aware of the Divas Champion Brie Bella era. Now look, this is about what you’d expect, some brief Brie limb work aside. They wrestle to silence for the most part, including a control segment that’s quiet enough to become eerie. Why is that the case? Well, let’s spend a moment on the commentary for this match. As usual, Lawler is immediately unsettling, with his “playful” PG efforts often coming off grosser than their “edgy” counterparts.
That isn’t even really my focus here though, as this is the era in which Cole hates the Divas matches. I get it, he’s a heel, but he’s also the lead announcer of the entire promotion. He legitimately dismisses this as “another boring divas match” at the bell, later yawning. It’s not his call, of course, which says it all about how little they cared. The match itself is not much good, though Kelly’s very diva comeback does earn a brief response.
Twin magic is the finish, which explains my confusion as to this Brie-centric era. Ultimately, they get less than four minutes and Brie works a limb for about 45 seconds of that. I don’t know man, it’s not good but they had no shot of changing that, the promotion had decided that this would not matter. Granted, these almost certainly weren’t the wrestlers to steal the show but in that case, perhaps it shouldn’t be the title match, I don’t know.
Incredibly Rare Star Rating: *
Afterwards, Michael Cole heads backstage to prepare for his bout with Jerry Lawler. Wonderful!
World Heavyweight Title
Christian vs. Randy Orton (c)
We’ve arrived. For those unaware, Christian had recently reached the mountaintop, becoming World’s Champion after Edge’s retirement. On the very next SmackDown, Orton dethroned Christian in a babyface match. This is the rematch. It’s nothing personal, just a battle for gold. Beneath the surface though, there is clearly more to their dynamic than the above timeline alone. In WWE, Christian had been a career runner-up, if that.
Upon returning to the promotion, Christian’s alleged push even took place on the ECW brand, slotting back into the midcard afterwards. His 2011 World Heavyweight Title win was an outlier and in history, this summer would prove to be that too. Christian simply wasn’t destined to be a genuine top guy in WWE, a crazy old pervert had already decided otherwise and his mind would never be changed.
By contrast, Orton emerged as a chosen one and a detention or two aside, has remained in the big picture. That disparity is not some “inside baseball” lore to me, it is just a very obvious contrast that’s apparent to fans, whether they know it or not. As a result, there is a something to sink your teeth into here, as Christian’s desperation is palpable. Clearly, this is about far more than just getting back the belt, it’s about reclaiming his fairytale ending.
That pressure translates to visible doubt on Christian’s face, battling the seemingly inevitable truth that his title win was an outlier. After all, things went back to normal just days later, a familiar king regaining the throne. The jeopardy isn’t lost on Seattle either, exploding into action for duelling chants at the bell. That’s fitting, as this is not only a babyface match but one with a very particular cadence.
Outside of a couple early Christian holds, it’s almost entirely made up of back and forth action. There are frequent momentum shifts, exchanging signature offence in snappy bursts. This match’s pace allows it to feel like something totally divorced from the above description though, giving this the gravity of a blockbuster prizefight. They don’t make a show of their remaining respect, racing to the finish throughout.
It’s an intense, fiery affair yet stays clean, shaped by Christian’s desperation to prove that this is a matchup he can win. Within seconds of the first lockup, they find this gorgeous seesaw rhythm, spacing out each burst and allowing their efforts to breathe. That patience doesn’t stop the pace from feeling frenetic though, producing genuine near falls in the very first act. It’s intoxicating, a rollercoaster ride befitting the divided crowd.
Chemistry is a common explanation for any great match, but these two are a case reserved for wrestling’s top tier. Their chemistry is distinct, silky smooth yet never without grit or snap. In this match alone, they combine for some of the most aesthetically pleasing stretches that I can recall. It’s an addictive dynamic, one that I’ve returned to frequently over the years.
The beauty of this match is that for the most part, they operate within Orton’s comfort zone, and it’s fabulous. However, Christian is an opponent that regularly got Orton to extend beyond that, which he does here on a couple occasions offensively. It’s a match about Christian though, as he is the one wrestling his own doubts. Down the stretch, he calls for the spear in a crazed fashion that I’d usually resent, but it’s just perfect here.
After all, it’s the only place left for him to turn, with Edge’s retirement sparking his previous title win. Even the Spear doesn’t lead him home though as instead, Christian arrives at the inevitable conclusion, right on time. He wrestles the perfect match, answers so many of Orton’s questions and yet, he’s still not king. Clearly, Chrisitan is every bit as good as the champion, he’s just not the winner that Orton is.
That’s not fair, nor does it have to be. Competition is cruel, and it’s this particular inevitability’s injustice that strengthens Christian’s eventual downfall. Why not cheat? Why not complain? Wrestling fair got him a handshake, but no World’s Heavyweight Title.
This match is marvellous and with each watch, climbs a little higher among my personal favourites. It’s not even 17 minutes long, always flying by in the blink of an eye. There was a time in my life, about three months ago maybe, where I’d explain why this isn’t actually perfect or whatever. I’d probably be right, but who cares. Ultimately, it’s a match that I’ll turn to on the darkest days, which feels pretty perfect to me.
Incredibly Rare Star Rating: *****
Kiss My Foot Match
Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole
At WrestleMania, these two had one of the worst matches in WWE history. I don’t know if I’ve actually seen it, if we’re shooting, but I’ve heard it’s bad and am confident in that assessment, especially considering the near-14 minute runtime. On the road to this rematch, Jim Ross kissed Cole’s foot while being ankle locked by Jack Swagger. God, wrestling is so weird man, look at the sentence that I just typed.
Anyway, this is about what you’d expect but at not even three minutes, it’s almost certainly better than Mania. Cole does the injured shtick to start with, bringing a doctor’s note only for John Cone to tear it up, ringing the bell anyway. The physicality here is awful, obviously, with Cole even ruining Jerry’s famed right hand by awkwardly thrusting his hands upward. They’re so far off, in fact, that Cone quite loudly encourages they “lay em in.”
Even Lawler tearing Cole’s pants off isn’t a smooth ride, leaving Mike with an unorthodox kilt of sorts. Hilariously, Cole has the generic WWE heel cutoff of baiting the babyface into the ring steps, which popped me. His comically gross foot did not pop me however, and is one of those WWE MOMENTS that makes you question your every choice to that point. Thankfully, they soon go home, with Lawler throwing Cole into his box-like structure before closing the show.
Look, it completely sucks but is at least polite enough to somewhat respect my time. It shouldn’t, to be fair, I am watching this thing by choice in 2024, but still. Anyway, yeah, real bad.
Incredibly Rare Star Rating: ¼*
Afterwards, they erase my “praise” for the match’s length, going into a marathon conclusion of The Michael Cole Story. First, Eve Torres comes out to hit a moonsault on Mike, then Jim Ross covers him in BBQ Sauce. Finally, BRET FUCKING HART shows up to put Cole in a Sharpshooter, allowing Lawler to place his foot in the man’s mouth. Genuinely howled at Bret and at least Jim got some redemption, I suppose.
In better news, JR will be on commentary for our main event, YAS!
I Quit
WWE Heavyweight Title
John Cena vs. The Miz
For those unaware, John Cena regained the WWE Heavyweight Title at Extreme Rules, three weeks prior to this event. The win came in a Steel Cage Triple Threat match, defeating John Morrison and The Miz. Now though, we are back to just Cena and Miz, the winning combination that led WrestleMania 27 to great heights. Then again, Cena did have some positive history with this stipulation, including a borderline classic against JBL.
This is not that, nor is it the Orton match or even the Batista one. In fact, I found this to be excruciating, all things considered. The bit here is that Riley can legally get involved whenever he wants, effectively making this a handicap match. I understand that choice, as Cena and Miz are an unfortunate pairing to begin with and this suits the latter’s character. However, you’re cornered once you make that choice, particularly at this length.
Speaking of such, this clocks in at just shy of 25 minutes. That’s a long match but nothing that should be illegal for your PPV main event, unless you’re doing a handicap I Quit match of course. As is, they take a single idea and stretch it horrifyingly thin, using this as a confirmation of Cena’s “Never Give Up” mantra. It’s 2011 man, surely everyone already believes in Cena’s resilience, must this be relitigated in the name of a Miz main event?!
For most of this match, Miz and Riley beat Cena from pillar to post. They use weaponry, including extending beatings with a belt and kendo stick, respectively. Cena is defiant in response, constantly pairing his “no” with an insult of some kind. Look, John Cena was awesome and I’m truly glad that’s now the consensus, but these are the matches that created such a divide back in the olden days.
His heroism has a particular flavour and when left to run wild like this, my goodness. It’s weird, but this exact match with blood is probably miles better, as the crimson would break through Cena’s frightening robot shield. Instead though, he’s full robot here, like an action figure being handled by a kid who hasn’t yet learnt the value of a lively sprint. To be fair, his initial shine is terrific, toppling both lads with ease but once they take over, filth.
It doesn’t help that Miz and Riley are a clunky couple, even in this environment. This thing is so one note, just a cycle of set pieces in which Cena says “no,” allowing time for Miz’s many goofy faces in-between. I don’t think goofy is what he’s going for, in truth, it’s just about all he’s got. That’s not a dunk, to be clear, that goofy face has made Miz a lot of money. It is not his fault that some lunatic thought he should be the top heel working 25 minute I Quit matches.
At one point, they even give Miz some time for mic work, asking a young fan to quit on Cena’s behalf. This bit kills the live crowd for a moment, finally exhausted after hanging in there otherwise. Even then, they do fire up some for Cena’s comeback, which is a theme throughout. There is no cheering The Miz here, and they are mostly with the direction being taken, the length just tests their enthusiasm.
For so long, they are simply sitting there, watching their hero get battered. I mean, it’s cool to pop for “no” the first four times but after that? Pretty boring I’d imagine. There’s just not much room for fluid action and excitement as again, they’ve cornered themselves. By involving Riley at the first bell, you make this a virtual angle. Speaking of such, it’d probably be a dramatic TV main event, stealing a ten minute match from an unworthy contender.
Instead, here it is, a 25-minute PPV main event. Mike Chioda probably takes the match’s best bump, which is a hilarious addition to their sprawling masterpiece. Worst of all, they have the temerity to tack on the Rumble 99 voice recording finish, only to undo it once Chioda finds the tape. Brother, is this really the time? We are 25 minutes deep, save that thing for another match that actually has a chance, this one lost its battle long ago.
Nonetheless, the people do indeed love Cena’s rally, going wild as he whips Miz with his own belt, then forcing a Quit by STF. They like the finish, possibly even the match, I don’t know. Personally though, I am stunned that this isn’t more infamous. I had never heard of it before today and thought this was truly wretched, which is not a common conclusion around here, as many of you will know.
Very bad match, and not even really due to the talent involved, though they certainly don’t help. This is broken on every level, a baffling combination of ideas by a chef that wanted to eat his four favourite meals all at once.
Incredibly Rare Star Rating: ½*
In more ways than one, I am terribly unwell and so, find shows like this to be somewhat romantic. Well, that’s probably a touch strong but I don’t know, there’s a magic to paying your money and going home with a single gem to cherish. I mean, there’s other decent action on here and all but let’s be real, it’s the Christian – Orton show. That’s the beauty of graps on some level, the idea that on any given night, magic can emerge.
HOWEVER, this show goes far enough in the other direction to ruin my romanticism. The main event actively irritated me and when paired with everything Cole – Lawler, from their match to all antics otherwise, this is not a fun show. In fact, I’d argue it’s a very bad show, about as bad as one could feasibly manage with a high as lofty as Christian vs. Orton. Oh well, these are the games we play folks, at least Seattle had fun…I think.
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